alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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