he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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