Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
