It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
