I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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