But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
