Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
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