i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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