Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
