there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
