Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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