Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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