And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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