Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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