awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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