we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
