My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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