you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize