Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize
