You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
