I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
