it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
