I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
His nipple licking is glorious
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