my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
