I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
