i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
