there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
