This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
