The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
