It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
