It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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