There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My vagina just clenched in fear
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
