Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
