thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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