Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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