I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
