Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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