i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
