He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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