You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
