I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
