If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
