I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
