My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
