If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Terrible idea I love it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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