There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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