and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
