i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
