Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
