so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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