Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
