I want to have your abortion
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
