Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
