Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
