I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
