i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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