Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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