You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
