thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
