Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
