I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
