Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
