im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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